Keys To A Better Marriage

	Marriage is God's idea. He gave it to us in the beginning (Gen. 2:18-24). There was marriage before there was the church. God placed tremendous value on marriage. "And God saw everything that He had made, and behold it was VERY GOOD" (Gen. 2:31).

	Marriage, which is honorable in all (Heb. 13:4), was designed for mankind's help, happiness, and continuance of the human race. "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing" (Prov. 18:22). Jesus put His stamp of approval on marriage by attending one, and performing His first miracle there (John 2:1-11). The symbol of marriage was used by Paul to show a powerful display of Christ's sacrificial love for His bride, the church. "Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it. ...and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Eph. 5:25-33). A good Christian marriage is a powerful force against evil. When a couple is on one accord, touching and agreeing together in unity, it's an awesome prayer force (I Pet. 3:7). The devil knows this, therefore he's always trying to kill, steal, and destroy the marriage union by misunderstandings and outside influences, which leads to separation, and then divorce (Col. 3:19). Marriage is a partnership. It should no longer be "I" but "WE." It involves the blending of two different personalities - many times "opposites." Due to our imperfections, there will be problem areas. Through God's help, we must learn to deal with each problem area and overcome it or the marriage will not last. The divorce rate in these last days is an alarming statistic, especially among Christians. On this sea of matrimony, I'm glad that neither Sis. Freeman or I jumped ship. There have been trying times, but God saw us through. Through His power, we've seen our relationship grow, mature, and get better and better. Thank you Lord!!! We've learned some things over the years, and it's our prayer that they may help, bless, and encourage you in your marriage. ♦ Walking With the Lord The Lord must be FIRST in the marriage. Let His Word, praise, adoration, and the upbuilding of His kingdom be the center of all activities. It's from Him that all blessings flow (Psm. 84:11). Strive to maintain a Spirit-filled life (Eph. 5:18,19). Let there be family altar time. Beholding one praying and reading the Bible has a powerful, lasting effect (Josh. 1:8). In the home, let there be a continuous flow of good Christian music, books, pictures, and videos that testify to the glory and power of God. This will help to edify you daily and build you up in the Lord (Col. 3:12-21). ♦ Outside Influences Be on the lookout for undesirable influences and protect yourselves from them. Don't let in-laws drive a wedge between you with constant interference. Don't pick friends that will pick you apart. Don't talk to everybody about your marriage problems. All counsel is not good counsel (Psm. 1:1). In these last days, there is much sexual immorality (premarital or fornication; extramarital or adultery) being advertised and glorified through all types of media - television, Internet, magazines, radio, and night clubs. Even with all the deadly, infectious, sexually transmitted diseases many are still hopping from one defiled bed to another (Heb. 13:4). We must not allow these negative outside influences to invade and ruin our marriages. ♦ Physical Love In God's eyes, marriage is the only legal grounds for sexual love (I Cor. 7:9). There is nothing dirty about sex. God invented it. It's a beautiful thing when it's with your mate. Strive to achieve mutual satisfaction. A husband who is abusive (verbal or physical) can't expect his wife to be sweet, lovable, and responsive when it comes to physical love. A wife who constantly nags and belittles her husband can't expect him to be totally fulfilled in the relationship. ♦ Tolerance We can't change anyone, but God can. Therefore, in the midst of marital struggles, pour out your heart to God. Let Him do the changing. In the meantime, use the irritating qualities of your mate as stepping stones to a higher walk with the Lord. God has ways of causing the devil's bombs to backfire. Pharaoh's persecution and pressure tactic against the children of Israel backfired - "the more they afflicted them, the more they multiplied and grew" (Exod. 1:12). Therefore, use every test and pressure as development tools for growth and maturity. God will come through for you (Eph. 3:20). Remember, most people are not strongly self motivated, so be sympathetic and don't expect more than your mate is capable of (Rom. 12:9-11). Focus on your mates possibilities. By FAITH see him or her changed, loving, productive, caring, considerate, and on fire for God (Matt. 20:21). Many have surrendered to divorce and yet with their new mate, they've encountered a whole new set of problems, sometimes even worse. ♦ Finances Work toward financial freedom. Strive to mark every bill off as "paid in full" (Rom. 13:8). Don't try to keep up with those around you. Develop a lifestyle that meets your own needs. Make goals and plans together for the future. Be always mindful of Jesus (possibly) coming today, while still preparing for tomorrow (Matt. 25:13). ♦ Goodness Love is the most powerful force on the earth. I received Christ when I recognized His love for me (John 3:16). "Therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee" (Jer. 31:3). Strong love will crush the hardest heart (I Pet. 3:1,4). Therefore, be a sweetheart or a sugar daddy to your mate. Make them feel important, and let it be crystal clear that you really care. Value their opinion and prove it by asking, listening, and considering their input. Pick out a favorable quality in your mate and verbalize that you notice it. Appreciation is powerful. Striving to make your mate happy is never a mistake (I Cor. 7:33,34). It is not always the big things that stirs the heart. Even if you can't do a cruise, let there be quiet and little fun times alone together. Go out often for little simple meals. Then there's the little thought gifts that always bring a big smile, a hug, and a sweet kiss. Keep the romance fire burning (SoS. 2:4). Remember: Isaac was found sporting (sharing a romantic moment) with Rebecca (Gen. 26:8). Enjoy life together, let there be recreational time, and have fun in each other's company. Patricia and I didn't get too far with the tennis rackets, but we have played many hours of competitive games of Scrabble. God ordained the family for our pleasure (Ecc. 9:9).
	♦ Negative Marital Traits ♦
	Selfishness, anger, violence, nagging, whining, complaining, dominating, shouting, trading insults, jealousy. "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" Proverbs 18:21 "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21
	♦ Positive Marital Traits ♦
	Loving, caring, forgiving, tolerant, patient, understanding, supportive, warm, communicative. "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" Ephesians 4:32

	Marriage will sometimes encounter it all - "sickness and health, richer or poorer, better or worse." Regardless, keep on striving and believing God to make your marriage a great success. With God's help, "All Things are Possible."
	*May God richly bless your Marriage!*

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